• Samantha Lehmann

The Gifts of Grief and Loss

Grief for me has been the most heart retching pain I have ever experienced it actually physically feels painful. I know I am not alone in feeling this pain. Everyone is different the way they deal with their grief and I understand having experienced two major losses in my brother nearly 13 years ago and my dad just 2 years ago that I would never judge or question the way someone responds to their loss.

When you lose someone you learn who will be there for you and isn't this is good thing because you only want those around you that truly want to comfort you and be there for you. Some people will expect you to get over it after 6 months or so; Often these are the people who have never experienced loss. Grief changes you forever, you choose how you react to it and how you deal with it but you will look at your life differently and will mostly likely live your life differently. I have always been a positive person so although I have been devastated by my losses I will not let them define me in a negative way. Out of respect for the way my brother and dad lived their lives I will continue to be the best version of my self I can be and live my life to the fullest, just like they did.

When I lost these beautiful men I did find some comfort over the months after their deaths and funerals and I would like to share with you what and who has helped me heal.

1. Self care - this is so important , sleep , eat, relax in warm baths do whatever you can to look after your wellbeing. Avoid alcohol and drugs to numb the pain. the pain needs to be felt so you can process it and heal.

2. Talk about your loved one as much as you like to those that you trust and love.

3. Let the tears flow, whenever and wherever and don't apoligise for it. there is no time limit to grieve, if you get stuck in regrets or what ifs, seek professional counselling sometimes we need help to process these thoughts and feelings.

4. Sometimes we lose contact with friends and family members and conflict can happen because of everybodies different beliefs, behaviours and opinions on the loss. Just stay true to yourself and values. You always find out who is there for you in devastating times in your life and sometimes its those you don't expect so embrace those caring souls and remember them.

5. Time does help if you let it; moving forward with your life, your passions, what makes you happy. DO the things that bring you comfort, read, music whatever it is take the steps forward to enjoy the beauty that life does has to offer, having sad moments and days is completely normal but remember you have your life to live so don't let the Grief consume you for the rest of your life.

One thing that comforts me most today is when others speak of my loved ones and share their memories of them, this makes me feel proud knowing that they are not forgotten and forever loved. So If someone you know has lost someone recently or even years ago, talk about their loved one, the happy memories you have of them this will bring a nice feeling of comfort to them.

Our Sympathy, Condolence gift boxes and care packages offer a different alternative to fresh flowers. We sell a lot of pampering products, candles and even books to bring comfort to those grieving. We can also help you customise your own Bereavement gift box to show your true understanding and care at a very sad time for someone you love.

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